Parenting

“Mommy! We’re done brushing our teeth”

excitedly cried out the two little girls in their pajamas.

“You sure?”

asked the mother with a suspicious look.

The four little eyes trembled for half a second but once again they answered

“Yes. We did!”

back at their suspecting mother. The two girls happily went to bed with a victorious satisfaction from having fooled their mother to think they actually brushed their teeth. When actually, all they did was vigorously scrub the tiles for 3 minutes with their strawberry flavored toothpaste.

After tucking in her girls, the tired mother let out a silent sigh and turned on the bathroom light, trying not to make any noise. It was a matter of seconds before she spotted what she was searching for. Another sigh came out as she started cleaning up the “strawberry scented” bubbles off the floor.

 

‘Oh my gosh, I didn’t know she knew’

I thought to myself with my eyes widened. Then a second later, my eyes got even bigger as I thought,

‘Oh yeah! A few days after that, my sister and I got brand new electric toothbrushes!’

It was true. The new toothbrushes with colorful Disney characters printed, that made us brush out teeth three times a day.

‘But what is going on? Why are they showing me my childhood here?’

I thought, since I was there to watch a movie. I decided to wait a little longer with patience for the “real thing” to start.

 

“I DID NOT STEAL IT!!”

Cried out of a furious rage, so loudly that it almost echoed throughout the office.

“Five of your classmates accused you of the same thing. All of them came to me and told me that YOU sneaked Jerry’s pen from his pencil case.”

The teacher now seemed annoyed; it was half-an-hour past her work time.

 “Never mind, I don’t think this quarrel with you is worth anything Sue. I’ll have to call your mom and have her come over to school tomorrow. Go home, have a good nights sleep before the parent-teacher meeting tomorrow.”

Listening to her teacher say her last words, Sue’s face now went red to purple. Sue couldn’t breathe because she felt that every breath she lets out would consist of “F-words.”

“Oh. One more question before you leave. Does your mom even speak English? Because if she doesn’t, I….”

“Goodnight Ms’Ruckert”

Then she slammed the door behind her as she heard her mother’s voice over the phone of her “so-called” teacher.

 

The girl arrived at home. She locked the door, she didn’t think about anything not talk to anybody. She just went to sleep when the clock read 6p.m. and woke up when it read 12 p.m. She burst out of bed to see if it really was 12 “P.M.” The living-room clock blinked the same number 12p.m. and the sunlight was bright behind the curtains. Her mothers’ bag was gone along with her sneakers. Obviously, she went to see the teacher.

 

Nothing happened that night. Just that the next day, all my friends came to me and apologized as well as Ms.Ruckert. I didn’t know what was going on until Ms.Ruckert called me after class.

 

“Sue. We found the real theft.”

The girl didn’t say anything.

“We are all so sorry as we said. By the way, you should really love your mom. I almost got moved by the trust your mom has upon you.”

 

Oh that teacher. She hated me for being a Korean, and I hated her for hating me as a Korean. But then again I remembered. That incident never appeared ever again in your life. Not in our supper tables or Sunday mornings.

 

Rrrrrrrr…

I burst my eyes open. It was so clear that it didn’t feel like a dream at all. In front of me, the movie was still running. A man and an woman kissing away. I paused the movie. The movie that I put on to calm down my anger. Then I remembered, I was in a fight with Jenny. Jenny, my first daughter who got grounded for having skipped her academy today. She obviously went to play with her first boyfriend. I felt so betrayed that I couldn’t think of anything else. But now having realized what a relationship of a “mother and daughter” should be like. A relationship full of suspicion, betrayal, disappointment, forgiveness, and promises. But in the end, all those were what gave tons of trust between a mother and her daughter too.

I slowly walked to Jenny’s room. I saw her sleeping on her bed frowning. I straightened her face and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. On my way out, I found her diary wide open. A sharp temptation pierced through me. A devil whispered in my ears

‘Pick it up…Read it’

But right before I picked it up, the “strawberry bubbles” and Ms.Ruckert stopped me.

I decided to let her off the hook this time although I thought I saw, no I knew there were, some inappropriate words scribbled on there.

 

As I walked out of the pink door I thought,

 

Jenny would get over this time.

 

Then Jenny and I would share the love.

The love that my mom and I had built upon my darkest days of puberty.  

 

 

The First one to Apologize Has It All

As a child, I was taught “The one to apologize first is the one to win.” So since I was six, I became friendlier with the word “sorry” and in whatever fight I got in, the victory was mine. Well of course I didn’t apologize without any reason (that would be lacking too much sincerity), I thought apologizing was the first step in untying the knot of misconception.

For 65 years North Korea and South Korea has been wrestling, like two little kids in a silly arm-wrestling match that yields no winners in the end. After drawing a line on the waist of a tiny country, we have been threatening each other to make Seoul and Pyongyang into a “sea of flames.” However, who is "South Korea"? Is it the South Korean government?  Or is it the military, president, or the people of South Korea? There is no correct answer to this question, but I know there is something better than figuring out who “South Koreans” are. That is, to end the fight in the first place. How? By fixing the misconceptions between North and South microscopically. I think it is time for us, individuals, to change our thoughts, offer the handshake of peace, and win this game by changing South Korea inside out.  

“U.S. official: North Korea could test firemissiles at any time”- this was the title of the head article posted on the CNN website on April 10, 2013. On the same day, the day that professionals assumed most likely for the missile to be launched, I have been asked the same question from the moment I woke up, until the instant I went back to sleep. The question my roommates, classmates and teachers asked me was, “Does your dad really say there is going to be an attack today?” (My dad works for the South Korean Army) I obviously couldn’t answer any of the questions, because I never actually asked my dad, but I realized that the huge amount of questions I received told me something about our conception towards North Korea. We actually feared North Korea for their aggressive attitude and provocation.

 

However, where is the provocation exactly coming from? Is it Kim Jung Un? Perhaps the news anchors with the threatening tone? Or the citizens in North Korea? Well, I certainly think it is not the citizens we fear and hate. Therefore, there should be no obstacle in changing our perspective towards the individuals in the North. In fact, I have a personal experience of meeting one, and even building a relationship with her family.  

When I was in nine years old and living in the states, I was lucky enough to meet a nine-year-old girl from North Korea. One night, I have even been invited to her house, to join her for supper with her entire North Korean family. It was only a few months after realizing that she was not just a “Korean” but actually a “North Korean.” For about two years, we went to the same school, lived in the same neighborhood, waved hands passing by, and became close enough to call each other friends. Nevertheless, it was on the day of “International fairs”, that I figured out her nationality after saw her under the North Korean flag, selling “Pyongyang dumplings.” It took me quite a while to digest the situation but I eventually overcame my internal dilemma and decided to keep her in my boundary of close friends. As close friends, we had “sleep-over” at each other’s houses’, our mothers arranged play-dates together, and we shared homemade dishes at potlucks. In addition, there are so many other memories, all of which switched an enemy into a potential friend.

         The most common misconception, perhaps, towards the North Koreans is that the people are all brainwashed by the government. Therefore, they can’t consider the South Koreans or any foreigners as friends. However, there is a counter example to this claim. The most famous case is that of James Joseph Dresnok, American defector to North Korea who defected at the age of 21. The documentary film “Crossing the line” shows Dresnok’s life in North Korea as an American. Here in the documentary, Dresnok introduces his North Korean “buddies” with whom he enjoys fishing and smoking together with.

         I remember watching a TED video in class, about an Israeli poster designer who was issued for uniting Israel and Iran with a poster saying “WE Israelis love Iranians” As an individual, he managed to open the gate of communication between the people of the two fighting countries, and all he did was post a poster on Facebook . Due to this, enemies started contacting each other one-to-one, chatting online, and becoming friends, clearing out misconceptions and hatred they have had for such a long time. 

Although directly communicating with the North Koreans through Facebook doesn’t seem realistic, changing our perspectives or clarifying the misconception we have with the North Koreans is just about enough for now. Henceforth, South Korea will start changing inside-out, and when the change turns out successful, we can consider changing North Koreans inside-out as well. As I said in the beginning, even a kindergartener knows better than to fight with friends and not apologize. So I suggest that we win this. Be brave to step forward and say “Let’s be friends again.”

Dilemma

You encounter a dilemma. Would you appeal to the authority? Or would you appeal to your loved ones? Here, by “appealing” I mean simply, smiling to them more often, putting more of your effort in making them feel better whenever they seem down, and wishing to show them only the best of yourself.

 The authority could come in many different forms. It could be your seniors (compared to juniors), teachers (opposed to friends), and the crowd (rather than an individual). Now it seems like you have a bunch of dilemmas to solve. But we all know that the “authority” comes in one big group, and the “loved ones” in the other. We also acknowledged that it is not easy to choose one, perhaps the “crowd”, from this group, then another separately, maybe your “friends”, from the other group.

 Both choices brings side-effects. Therefore, the smarter ones will choose whatever brings them less pain in the end.

 I once had a friend who gave me the answers to end my dilemma. To be straight forward, she was the one who chose the authority over her loved ones. She would be rather an outcast among her grade, but the “memorable” kid among the upper graders. She would treat you like an invisible person when alone with just the two of us, but as soon as the crowd walks in, she would suddenly put on a smile as if it was there the entire time. She would never appear on individual chats, but put much effort to attract everyone’s attention on group chats. As a result, most teachers and seniors praised her for always being bright, hard working, but at the same time, being the top student in class. Even those of the same grade got successfully fooled, but actually her closest people, including myself, started to get hurt, tired, and betrayed by her “show.” I myself, who believed me to be one of her “loved ones” eventually, turned my back on her as well.

She lived a one efficient life, and to that, we all can’t disagree. Perhaps up to a certain point, she might be satisfied at having become the top student, the most famous student, the club leaders, and so on. Killing three, four birds with one stone. However, she’ll realize by the end that the one thing she missed out on was worth more than all of the others put together.

The side effects of not appealing to the authority are obvious. Not becoming the most popular student, failing to get chosen as the leader, and the list goes on. You might not be able to become the top student even, because appealing to your “loved ones” requires time, effort, and most of all, your honesty, which might leave you with less time to focus on other things.

 Now, weighing the pain of the each side effect, I’ll have to leave it up to you.   

Go ahead! Pick a name

I always thought, inside our mother’s womb, as a fetus, “Why couldn’t we decide our own features and characteristics to live with?” Let there be a vending machine with all sorts of adjectives to choose from. Then I would have chosen “big” for my eyes and “tall” for my height. How nice! However, the reality made me end up with small eyes and the height tall enough to let most of my friends view the very top of my head. Obviously you are not allowed to choose your own looks, your height, nor your personality. Then what about your name? Couldn’t we at least get to pick those by our personal preference?


It is not that I woke up this morning, suddenly got the feeling that the name I already have is lame or, all of a sudden, felt the need to defy against my parents that I decided to change my name from “Sumin” to “Eli.” Actually, I have been thinking about this for quite a few years now. So, out of all the names that exist, or maybe not even exist, why did I choose Eli?

Eli, although same for all the other names as well, has lengthy meanings behind it posted on Google, Wikipedia, and Baby-naming sites. According to Wikipedia, the name Eli means “’God is exalted’ or height” and Google says “Eli means 'ascension' in Hebrew. In the Old Testament he is the high priest of Israel and the teacher of Samuel." In England, Eli has been used as a Christian given name since the Protestant Reformation. The naming site "Firstnamestore” even has a precise and professional prophecy explained for the name Eli. For example, did you know that the personality of Eli is supposed to be “sincere, and no one doubts him”? Well, I didn’t know just until now.

Since I was eight years old, the name “Eli”, not in terms of “EE-li” but in terms of “short for ‘Eli-zabeth’”, has had a significant meaning for me. “Eli” was the first and the last friend I ever had in my first school I went to in the US. Although I got to attend the school for only 3 months, then transferred to another school due to family issues, the 90 days of school felt “hell-like” to me. Walking through the big, metal door into the hallway full of 400 little boys and girls of blue colored eyes and yellow hair (their eyes all fixed on me), then into the classroom of 40 so-called “class mates”, sitting in the chair, 1 meter (feeling more like 20) away from my friend, I felt like I was the little black stain on a pure white surface. I was called the “mute girl”, invited to parties but rejected the next day, asked to do home works of which were not mine, called “disabled”. However, then came Eli, with the remote control, she came to me and “un-muted” me. On the first day of school, during my first lunchtime, she came to me with a great big smile, and asked me to help her open her bag of pizza. The “helping hand” she asked me for that day was actually the biggest “helping hand” that she offered to me. I still remember the cute poem I wrote in English class just before I left the school. It went “Eli, my Elevator, she bring me up”

I don’t know what the mothers and fathers out there thought of when they named their baby “Eli” but I can say somewhere far back in name dictionary, I can find “string of hope” below the name “Eli”

Is Bacon Really Shakespeare?

                                              

Did I get caught?

 

 

 

 

 

 

But should I even say I "got caught?"

Why? Due to my heart thumping in my ears, my ears open to any other sound and my breath twice as fast as usual? Or maybe because the two evidences along with three testimonies were enough to prove my “so-called” guiltiness.

Evidence 1, the "lost pumpkin."
Our family a garage full of pumpkins. Seeded in the spring, watered in the summer, picked in the autumn, and finally stacked in the winter. In to the garage they go, neatly stacked next to a single pair of red, polka dot rubber boots. Yes, single. Belonging to a single pair of feet, of which I call my "Cinderella boots." During the winter I started to “un-stack” the pumpkins. One for my pumpkin pie, the other for my pumpkin soup. One by one, they were gone; and the one I took, apparently, was the last one.

Evidence 2, the "empty account."
Just until last summer it was full. In fact, it was quite full, close to half a bill or "fifty green leaves" as my mom calls it. It was granted from the school in exchange for my first summer vacation in KMLA, teaching history to "potential global leaders" for two weeks. Recently was I informed that "that" money was all gone and not a dollar was left. A portion to buy the self rising flour, a bit more for the confectioners’ sugar, the rest for the butter, and my bank went empty.

Witness 1, 2, 3.
Every time I bake, my mom, dad and my sister are ready to testify against me. Accusing me of being guilty for not studying, or for not keeping my occupation as a student. Listening to their testimonies, the judges, my friends, teachers, counselors, or the college administrators, might find me guilty. They might say "She was a fool to have been baking for the last five years when she herself stated her possessions to become an engineering designer. She should have done the physics Olympiad instead!"

Well, now give me just a minute to have my final defending speech. "Dear honorable judges, let me ask you, would you dare to accuse Steven Paul Jobs, the owner of "Macintosh", for having taken 'calligraphy 101' instead of mechatronics in his short year at Reed? Or Leonardo Da Vinci for having drawn the Mona Lisa instead of working on inventing his hydrometer?"

And I dare to say "Without even the need to await your wise decision, this case is closed. Thank you for listening."

Persuade the People?

l  Topic: Could small acts such as videos and posters on facebook lead to such big effects as persuading North Korea?

 

l  Opinion: No, I believe such attempts have too many obstacles.

 

l  Proponents’ Supporting Idea

①     Individual communication with the North Koreans using social network is worth the try.  

-       Ex) Iranians facebook poster resolving the relationship with Israelis. ‘

        

②     Revealing the truth of North Korea’s issue through the internet can bring global attention.

-       Ex) Kony 2012

 

l  Opponents Supporting Idea

①     The North Koreans having access to SNS belongs to the elite class; already has obstinate beliefs.

-       Ex) Personal experience encountering North Korean

 

②     Famous enough, misconception should be revised not through an individual.

 
 
l  Link to article about “North Korea SNS”
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2012/10/116_121290.html
 
l  Link to article about the atmosphere of the individuals living in North Korea
http://ajw.asahi.com/article/asia/korean_peninsula/AJ201302110109